/me done

Friday, 2 November 2012 21:34
sarahcb1208: (nano survival)
[personal profile] sarahcb1208
I’m just totally and completely over today. I don’t have any motivation to write, but I’m doing it because I have to. I have to meet my word count goals. I feel like a piece of crap when I don’t. So, I’m writing to write. Not writing to push my story, but to write. Just to write. I hate that it’s day 2, and I’ve already hit that point. I have such big plans for my story but nowhere to take it because right now, my soul is going “this isn’t for you” It’s not saying that about writing. It’s saying it about the sprint hosting. I feel like I’m a bit of a failure. I’m losing my cool so easily, and so fast. That isn’t normal for me. I’m just sick and tired of the refusal to listen. The refusal to pay attention to the rules. The inability to read the rules. The complete and total lack of respect for the mods.

I don’t care that someone went “Ugh, rude” and left. I just don’t even care one single bit. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I don’t even care about that. I’m tired of being a fucking little babysitter. The constant whining about word counts. Holy shit. It’s only day 2, and they’re already freaking out. No wonder they freaking quit by week 2. Ugh. I just … ugh. I can’t take it today. I’m ready for bed. I’m ready to just lose my shit on everyone and everything.

Maybe it was because I drank. Maybe it’s the stress from the kids being total little assholes today. I don’t know. It’s just an off shitty day. I need to go to sleep. I need a break. I need something, anything, to take my mind off of real life. I want to see what Melinden and Os do. I want to see Fruben get his ass kicked. I want Aldric to be able to come clean. I want to write my story. I don’t want to deal with this bullshit.
So, yeah, if Mel doesn’t do the sprints next year, yeah, I’m going to be done. I might be done anyway. Let them fucking deal with this shit on their own. Let the fucking complainers deal with their own shit for once. As Josh so accurately put it, since I know that sprints work for me, I can do my own. I can set my phone, an egg timer, etc. I have Write or Die. I’m set. I’m good.
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November 2012

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